Emotional Maths™ and the Marathon of Love: Why Recovery Matters More Than the Argument

In relationships, it’s not the argument that matters.
It’s the recovery.

Just like training for a marathon, love requires three things:
1. Preparation
2. Pacing
3. Recovery

I learned this the hard way running the New York Marathon—and it applies just as much to building emotionally intelligent partnerships as it does to running 26.2 miles.

The science is clear (Gottmans, Lisa Feldman Barrett): what sustains long-term connection isn’t avoiding conflict—it’s how well we repair, co-regulate, and recommit after the rupture.